Integrity and Motives

First weekend in November and the weather was great in the Denver Area. My wife was at a retreat so my son and did everything on the bike. Saturday was the first playoff game for the Hawks, my nephew’s football team and they won so the season continues for at least one more week. Sunday we rode to church and I gave him the option of coming on a ride scheduled later with my brother-in-law but he wanted to get some video game tips from his cousin. So Phil and I were solo on our bikes as we rode on Sunday afternoon. The only problem with the ride was it got dark too soon (Why couldn’t they have held off on the time change until the weather was too bad to ride?)

This ride had a first for me since my return to riding, so far every ride I have been alone or someone I was riding with was leading the ride. But this time I had an idea where we could go and was leading the ride. On the surface leading a group ride is much like riding alone, you decide where to go, when to stop and how fast to ride. The only obvious addition to check you mirrors to be sure the other rider(s) are with you at each intersection and turn.

After the win Saturday the coaches were debriefing the team on what went well and what to work on for next week. The subject of heart and character came up and they defined character as “doing the right thing even when no one is watching” which is great advice. In the Bible Numbers 32:23b says “you may be sure that your sin will find you out” which is a promise I have never heard anyone “Claim” In short if you don’t do the right thing because you believe no one will see you, you are wrong because in the end everything will be seen on earth or before God.

I noticed on the Ride Sunday that I was not riding the same as I would if I were alone. I was riding a little faster and charging deeper into turns before slowing. And I started to think about integrity. If a lack of integrity is changing my behavior when I am alone, what is it that causes me to change behavior when I am being observed? I realized it was motive that can shape what I do. Motive is tricky thing because it is not obvious to others and we can so easily lie to ourselves. I am not 100% sure what motivated me to behave this way but hear are some possibilities.

1. I wanted Phil to enjoy the ride and he has more experience then me

The problem with this motive is that it is based on comparison, as long as I am comparing or measuring myself with anyone it is a loosing proposition.

2. I wanted to prove my riding abilities and get his approval as a rider and a man

3. I would like to do some waawG rides next year and want Phil to see me as a capable leader

The problem with these motives is they are based in getting the approval of men when need to be looking to the Father for approval and identity.
4. Adventure is a good thing and I have seen these roads before and it is safe and reasonable to push a little harder to test myself as a man and a rider

This is a great motive for what I did and I wish I could say that this was the only reason for my behavior but I suspect it was a blend of all four which is the great thing about adventure. In one day I can have a great ride with a good friend and at the same time my Father who always has good will towards me can speak to my heart in a loving a kind way to grow me into a man who is after His own heart.

Take a bike or leave it home but take the risk of adventure your Father has great things to show you if you will listen.